Diary

I seriously don’t know what is wrong with my life but it has become seriously boring. Like… utterly. The lectures in the university are the most boring I have yet endured. The weather is boring. Driving school is (mostly) boring. I don’t even suffer any mental disorders to spice up my life anymore.

This. Sucks. A lot.

So there it is. I don’t know what to write. My life doesn’t change at all, I don’t experiment with new kinds of food, I don’t wear skirts and high heels just for thrills, I don’t go shopping, I don’t visit my friends in other cities, I don’t participate in any sports, I don’t get laid, I code in Java every day and every night, I utterly and totally suck in my life at the moment.

I need to come up with something real fast I guess.

RIGHT NOW: Doing absolutely nothing, would you believe it.

With the examination session over and two weeks since my last post, it’s a high time to post something again.

First and foremost, I am very happy that I managed not to fuck up majorly during this session, even though it was one of the most difficult to date. 79% average is really really good, compared to what I was expecting. Numeric Methods and Concurrent Programming made this term look grim, but hey, I’m still alive and going!

Other than that… The little discussion in the previous post’s comments has led me into developing a game with Zvitruolis. Nothing too grand to look at right now, but everything is going in quite a comfortable pace. The basic premise of the project may look ridiculous (a Java game???), but right now it’s working quite alright and there isn’t much of the notorious Java lagging. Maybe JVM 6.0 is actually fast enough to keep up with the requirements for a normal 3D game?

More about things in the next couple of days. Right now my brain is drained by the exams, thank you very much.

RIGHT NOW: Writing rotation implementation in the physics engine of the game. Some serious shit, I can tell you that.

Hello, hello, hello! Apparently, people realised after all how cute and lovable I am, since I at last got my Christmas presents… way into New Year. Well, better later than never, huh? I got a lovely donkey from my friend. She got a bunch of angry looking owls for that. Yay! I got 15 euros from my grandma. Well, she always pays me money instead of an actual present. Well, again, better money than socks. Yay! Also I got an awesome Porsche 911 so I can kill myself fast. No, not really. And last but not least, I got a cheque to buy some books in a bookstore. Double yay! I don’t remember how printed text looks anymore anyway. Except my stupid university homeworks.

Other than that, I have a couple of new addictions. First and foremost, I got in love with Korean national sports. So much intensity, so much skill… like, wow. Yeah, I’m talking about Starcraft and Warcraft 3. My obsessions are way behind the schedule, it seems. Doesn’t matter, they will release Starcraft 2 sooner or later… and my hardware will not be able to cope with it, which is quite another story. Add to that my religious hatred to Vista (that piece of shit ain’t touching my computer EVER). Ah well… Maybe when I’m old someone will start releasing games for Linux platform as well, sniff…

The other new obsession is… well, geeky. I have become a functional programmer. No no no, I am still as dysfunctional as ever, it’s the programming that is functional. I mean, pass function as an argument of another function? Sounds like yay! Also, it confuses the shit out of people reading the source. To make matters worse for them readers, I have begun learning J. Now that thing is a blast. What’s not to love? Any programming language that doesn’t have cycles, because its operations are by default meant for whole arrays at once, is good language in my book. Seriously, what can be better than finding the biggest member of an array in three keystrokes?

>./

Can’t get better than that, no way.

Of course, it does have some disadvantages. For example, the final code looks something like this in the end:

],(+/@:(_2&{.@:]))

Bonus points for those, who know, what this program does. But hey, at least its programs are ten to twenty times shorter than similar C programs because of lack of cycles, and you can piss off people who claim that’s just random gibberish.

RIGHT NOW: Just looked through a list of driving schools that are accepting new students. I want to get my licence this year, even though I don’t have a car yet. Face it, being 21 and not having a licence sucks. And now to watch some Starcraft MSL matches

And thus after three weeks of procrastination being busy with my university stuff, I am back to blogging!

First and foremost, let me introduce… my new kitty! My Dad was litterally going out of his mind without a cat, visiting her grave everyday and all, so we decided that we’d rather get a new cat than get murdered one night… OK, maybe I am exaggerating a tiny bit, but still. Now we have a new little critter to bother us and Dad isn’t as irritating anymore.

This time it’s a male kitty. He’s only seven weeks old but already quite an evil cute little creature. Most of the time he spends chewing my hand, my bootlaces, my boots, my anything. The rest of the time he, of course, sleeps. Anyway, he’s quite pretty, being totally white and little and having cute eyes… Evil bastard.

What else? Well, since everyone hates me and I am an evil bastard, I didn’t get any Christmas presents this year. Yay! Ah, whatever, not that I cared about presents much anyway. People usually give crap presents these days anyhow. I still have a slight hope to get some presents from several persons I didn’t meet yet, but I’m not expecting much. And if you must ask, no, I didn’t give presents to anyone either, because all my presents are crap as well. Maybe I will give something to a couple of people who seem to mean a bit more than usual… But I wouldn’t have high hopes in their place either.

Expected more, huh? Well, shit, I live a boring life, what would you expect? Feeding overweight tigers with chicken?

By the way, if you’re feeling a strong inclination to kill yourself but don’t want to do the dirty job yourself, force me to listen to Christmas songs. I guarantee it won’t hurt… me… a lot. Well, OK, Mariah Carey looked kind of sexy in that black and white music video, but that’s as far as I can go. I have a very low Christmas song threshold before I go completely bananas.

RIGHT NOW: Listening to Nick Cave’s “Murder Ballads”. Now that’s what I call proper music for winter. By the way, this winter sucks. There is no trace of snow, and it’s frigging end of December… If I don’t get proper white Christmas in the next ten years, I am going on anti-global-warming motherfuckers killing spree.

OK, after three days in a row when absolutely no one has even taken a look at my blog, I have to do something, even though I didn’t intend to. I am overcrowded with various homeworks, labworks and all the other shit I have to do or else I will get my head cheerfully chopped off my shoulders and I was thinking of taking a little break from blogging, but I can’t bear to look at the stats of my blog tumbling down.

First and foremost, yay for me and for my new band. I can already tell that the band is the most awesomestest band I have ever been a part of even if I have yet to play with them in a rehersal. The dudes are very fun to be with, very friendly, very approachable and outright great. I don’t know how all the music playing, rehersing and creating stuff will go, but I am sure it will be great as well. At least they seem to be quite good musicians from what I’ve heard.

This kind of brings up problem that arises every time when I join a band - what should I do with the material of my old, already dissolved band? I have weighed various options for a long time, but haven’t found a solution. On one hand, the material is great, the music is awesome, the lyrics are meaningful and it would be a pity if all of it simply disappeared. On the other hand, it is very, VERY difficult to get my previous band mates together for a reunion and recording the damn thing for real and for good. I want to do it badly, but they are simply unenthusiastic about it. This gives me another choice though - claiming the rights for all the songs and give them all to my new band, leaving the old bandmates credited for their input in small letters in the CD sleeve. Of course, I can be nice and only claim the songs where I had the most input (that would leave six songs out of twelve)… I simply don’t know.

Of course, sooner or later we will have new material with the new band and maybe it won’t be a problem at all, because I will forget the old band, but I think it’s more likely I will still want to publish the songs… And I’m actually hoping for surprise reunion next year or the year after that.

And now I go fuck with labworks again.

RIGHT NOW: Fucking with labworks, d’uh.

Technically, the title isn’t right. As of now, the cat is in vet’s receiving lethal dose of drugs. Anyway, I won’t see her anymore, so it counts. Breast cancer - a terrible disease, no matter if you’re human or animal - has taken its toll.

When we got this cat, I was nine. And I hated that critter for a while, but by the time we moved to Kaunas, our relationship was a lot better. Anyway, for those not counting - she was around for a bit more than half of my life, so you can imagine how weird it is to be without a cat again. A little furry creature making a terrible mess out of your room, a bit bigger furry creature, flying down from ceiling with the lamp… A friend to greet you after a terrible day in school, university, work,  wherever, to get your mind off your problems and calm you down. A little incarnation of evil, pissing into your shoe, because you wronged her somehow. A little incarnation of good, always cheerful and wishing to play.

She will be missed.

RIGHT NOW: Listening to “Wish you were here” album of “Pink Floyd”. Because it fits my mood right now.

I wrote a blog entry a couple of days ago but I deemed it to be too stupid to be postable. See, I have some quality control here after all. And it wasn’t a very interesting rant anyway. No rants are interesting when written more because of boredom than anger.

Anyway, my great programming spree is over. A little test from Management is all that remains this week, and as far as I know, it’s going to be a piece of cake. A program for my friend was very simple and a joy to write (seriously!), even though the numeric method it implements sucks a lot. Well, that’s how it’s meant to be after all - easy things don’t work well usually. My own program… Well, let’s not talk about it. After I wrote a page of its documentation (yes, we are required to provide documentation for our programs), I decided I can’t bare it much longer and decided to rather get a zero for it than waste my time and brain cells. Linear algebra was never my forte and writing programs that implement the theorems of linear algebra - even more so. The third program - about concurrent programming using monitors - went fairly well though, which was kind of nice, given that I had only ten minutes to spend on it. Yes, I am fast.

Anyway, fuck the programming. It’s not about it. I can’t get my mind to programming anyway now.

My cat is quickly fading away. Just this morning she was able to jump up about a meter on a washing machine. Right now she’s lying on the ground with her rear legs almost completely paralized. It seems that cancer finally reached the vital organs and nerves, so she has maybe a week to live… if we don’t euthanize her, that is. I think we will do it, because it’s a really pitiful sight to see her like that. The poor creature… It’s a bit early to write all the good memories about the cat. It will quite probably be my next post. Right now I just wish that she will suffer as little as possible.

RIGHT NOW: Trying to make my cat feel comfortable during the last days (hours?) of her life. Death is a terrible terrible thing…

Fuck fuck fuck and fuckity fuck, it seems I spent last night thinking so much about the stuff I was going to blog about that I totally forgot to write anything in the blog! Very clever of me, especially when I don’t remember most of the planned stuff right now anyway. OK, so let’s try to remember everything…

First and foremost of all, I got an invitation to join a band. It is about a year since the last time I played in a band, so it came both as a pleasant surprise and a huge headache since most of my hardware wasn’t used for that period of time and my skills aren’t as mad as they used to be, and they weren’t too mad even then. Anyway, I believe I will be able to cope with it… barely. I have three programs to write in the upcoming week - one in Java, one in C++ and one in Python - and they must be finished until Friday. There are no other variants - either they are finished by them or I am dead. Of course, the wonderful part about it is that I have started doing none of them yet.

This brings me to another great thing - the meeting of Lithuanian Formula One fans. OK, I can clearly see some of the people who know me a tad better than average confused. Yes, you remember it right - I absolutely hate Formule One as it is now. Doesn’t matter really - I’m there to party and to promote some other racing series as well. However, this also means that I will most probably be absolutely unable to work on the three programs. This leaves me precisely four days and four nights for everything…

And I’ll be damned if I don’t make it.

RIGHT NOW: I have just spent three (four?) hours playing snooker online with my friend. That was quite fun actually, however, we’re both terrible players and have lots and lots of things to improve. Well, if we play it as much as we played today, it might take quite a short time… and I will have even less time for the programs. Argh…

Oh, and yay for my new haircut. People say I look like a human being at last… What a nice way to put it, isn’t it? Anyway, I kind of like it.

First and foremost, yay for the first snow this autumn! Since all autumns in this country are defined by absolute greyness of everything around, except the ground, which more resembles shit colour wise, and this kind of colours make me depressed all the time, I always enjoy the first snow. And the second. And the third. Snow is great. Right now it’s still mixed with a lot of water, so it feels yucky, and if there is wind, the overall feeling is terrible, but outside the window it still looks a lot better than the usual grey and shit brown landscape.

Other than that… Well, not much to write about. I promised my coursemate to get a haircut this weekend and blew it, because I had insanely lot of work (I stayed up until 5am on Saturday without spending a single minute on the internet, except for Wikipedia, where I had to look up the info I needed). Hence as of now I have twelve hours fourty five minutes to get the damn haircut, because that’s when I will go to the lectures and she will see me having broken my promise… which I, of course, do not want.

RIGHT NOW: It seems it was quite a while since I visited ICanHasCheezburger.Com, hence that’s where I’m spending my time right now. Also I’m browsing BoardGameGeek.Com for all the info I can find about Warcraft: the Boardgame and Starcraft: the Boardgame. I have plans to make a boardgaming group of some sort, and I want some cool games for that, and I figured these might bring me some ardent PC gamers. Come on, you have to leave that box of silicon once in a while, don’t you?

A day when you have to carefully read through 500 lines of code to find, what causes segmentation fault is not what I call a good day.

A day when you have to find an eternal cycle in the same lines of code after you catch the cause of segmentation fault isn’t fun either.

Knowing that tomorrow you have a midterm test of Data Bases from SQL, when you have never in your life studied SQL and you have never ever been to Data Bases lectures - simply priceless.

Well, at least it snowed a bit today. I love snow.

I have a couple of thousands of Python lines still to come. Small part of them - tomorrow. A bigger chunk - next week.

Why why oh why do I understand programming? I could be some stupid moron instead and study… I don’t know, marketing, management, anything else? Or, on another hand, why am I not a chick and can’t use their *blink blink*, *look at me, I’m so cute, ain’t I, so you wouldn’t hurt me with a bad mark, would you?* and other special weapons that would help me immeasurably in this situation?

RIGHT NOW: Reading Phillip K. Dick’s “A Scanner Darkly”. I actually saw the movie first and was impressed (because Keanu Reeves is soooo cute, and I’m not even gay (no matter what Tiffy says)). I have also read Dick’s “Ubik”, which is also a very weird book. But they are well written weird books, I can give him that.

P.S. Sorry for a bit harder on the eyes blog background, but the previous got bugged for no apparent reason, and it’s too late to spend additional five minutes carefully choosing from the pregenerated blog layouts (like I would ever bother with creating my own layouts anyway).