Diary

Technically, the title isn’t right. As of now, the cat is in vet’s receiving lethal dose of drugs. Anyway, I won’t see her anymore, so it counts. Breast cancer - a terrible disease, no matter if you’re human or animal - has taken its toll.

When we got this cat, I was nine. And I hated that critter for a while, but by the time we moved to Kaunas, our relationship was a lot better. Anyway, for those not counting - she was around for a bit more than half of my life, so you can imagine how weird it is to be without a cat again. A little furry creature making a terrible mess out of your room, a bit bigger furry creature, flying down from ceiling with the lamp… A friend to greet you after a terrible day in school, university, work,  wherever, to get your mind off your problems and calm you down. A little incarnation of evil, pissing into your shoe, because you wronged her somehow. A little incarnation of good, always cheerful and wishing to play.

She will be missed.

RIGHT NOW: Listening to “Wish you were here” album of “Pink Floyd”. Because it fits my mood right now.

This time my pretending to study didn’t work. OK, let’s rename that “I totally failed”. I could understand all of the questions fully and even knew how they should be answered… except the fact that I couldn’t remember the middle parts of the theorems. I knew the conditions and the results, but I had absolutely no idea, how one goes from the conditions to the results. This was the first time in my life I felt so dumb. I think I’d have been scared a lot less if I didn’t understand a thing in the test.

On a brighter note, I had an opportunity to use a tiny bit of Esperanto today. OK, so it was like three or four sentences, but it was still fun. I mean, seriously, Esperanto is such an awesome language. It’s easier than English, it sounds better than English, it’s more logical than English - it’s so much more fit to be an international language. Well, too bad I can’t change anything here - if I started writing in Esperanto, almost no one would understand a thing and this blog would be left without it’s measly audience of three people. Weird logic it is, I must say. People don’t learn Esperanto, because very few people know it, and very few people know it because they don’t learn it. It reminds me of Dvorak keyboard layout - most people think it’s more convenient than QWERTY, no one uses it. The same is true for Esperanto - most people think it’s easier and more suitable to be an international language, everyone speaks English anyway.

RIGHT NOW: Just listened through Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” for… I don’t know, 75th time? I just can’t grow tired of that album. OK, mi deziras endormiĝi, bonan nokton, ĉio homoj.

Hurray for me, as I finished my concurrent programming homework, yay! Actually, it would have been a very easy one, but professor decided to make everything quadruply difficult by imposing limit on the lengths of arrays. Not just any limit, but eight elements. Eight elements for a bloody application which works with 40 chunks of data! OK, I know, most of you don’t understand a shit and saying that I had to setup nine semaphores instead of one will not impress you. Let’s just say that it’s like making absolutely random things work in an orderly fashion - bloody hopeless and brain hurting.

Today during a lecture of complex analysis (I’m the only one mad enough to have picked that subject) professor made me a cup of coffee while I was busy solving a problem. To say that I was pleasantly amazed would be a serious understatement. Even knowing that I don’t like coffee all that much. Now that is what higher education in Lithuania is lacking a lot - interaction between students and professors on more levels than just lectures and studies. I am really impressed.

And I’m starting to think that it’s getting a bit too obvious that I really enjoy spending my time with one of my coursemates and try to go somewhere with her a bit too often… Ah well, like I care. Like my chances to score anything bigger aren’t infinitesimal anyway, so I think I’ll let the people think what they want to think.

RIGHT NOW: Thinking, whether I should put links to the stuff I am talking about. Maybe I can rely on my readers’ abilities to Google themselves? Hmmm… Anyway, right now I am listening to Pink Floyd - The Wall album, easily one of my favourite musical creations of the previous century.